Approach

We primarily use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT for short), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT for short), and Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT for short). All three models are backed by years of scientific research and, most importantly...they work! 

 

ACT is based on two main principles: Acceptance of our experience and Commitment to our values. Using ACT, we’ll work together to identify your values, or what matters most to you in life. This will help you identify the paths along your journey that will lead to more fulfillment, so you can make decisions more confidently. Next, we’ll work on understanding the thoughts and feelings that sometimes make it hard to choose these paths: Ever canceled plans because you felt nervous about meeting someone new even though relationships are important to you? Or zoned out to TV  rather than going on a walk even though you feel best when you’re in nature? Us too! These types of choices are so common because as humans we love to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Once we understand this, we’ll work together to bring more fulfillment into your life by making space for some of these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings without letting them control your choices.

EFT is based on Attachment Theory, which is all about our need for connection with others and the pain we feel when this is threatened. Using EFT, we help clients understand the difficult feelings that come up in relationships and how they may lead to behaviors that actually keep us more disconnected in the long run: Ever gotten angry and critical of someone when you actually needed more care from them? Or felt  unaccepted by someone and withdrawn from them in order to protect yourself? These behaviors are common and make a lot of emotional sense, but unfortunately, they send a threatening message to the other person, which makes the closeness we're hoping for more difficult to achieve. When this happens over and over again, we get stuck in cycles in relationships that can leave us feeling trapped. In EFT, we work to understand these cycles so that we can reach for others in new ways that encourage the closeness we need.​

IBCT is a behavioral approach to couples therapy that focuses on the emotional underpinnings of a couple's distressing dynamics and works to balance BOTH the need for acceptance and change in the relationship. Sometimes we get so focused on what needs to change in our relationship that we end up sending out partner a threatening message that they need to be different, which actually makes it much harder for them to meet our needs. IBCT offers a unique approach to finding the emotion running under our challenges and creating change while also promoting the acceptance we all need from our partner. 

Areas of Expertise

Relationships

​Dating and relationships are HARD and many of us struggle at times. We work with individuals to better understand the patterns that leave them feeling unfulfilled in this area and move in the direction of behaviors that lead to healthy, rewarding connection.

We will work on:

  • Gaining clarity on what matters to you to help you make decisions about relationships more confidently

  • Understanding how certain behaviors may be interfering in your dating and relationship goals

  • Identifying the thoughts and feelings that may be driving how you behave in dating and relationships

  • Learning to tolerate and manage difficult emotions more effectively 

  • Understanding how prior experiences in your life may have shaped your thoughts, feelings and behaviors 

Stress and Anxiety

If you're struggling with stress and anxiety, you are in good company. There is so much to manage in modern life, it's no wonder we worry. The trick is to allow worry and stress to be present without allowing them to take over so you can also absorb the good that surrounds you. Together, we'll work towards that using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). 

We will work on:

  • Using mindfulness to identify worry without getting overwhelmed by it

  • Learning to observe your emotions without judgment so you can take in what they might be trying to tell you without feeling consumed by them

  • Identifying activities that leave you feeling more fulfilled and less stressed and finding ways to incorporate them into your life

Lack of Fulfillment

Many of us wake up one day and realize we feel a bit flat and unfulfilled in the life we've created. On the outside everything might seem pretty good. We may have even spent a long time working to get where we are, which can make this a very confusing and upsetting feeling. If you're feeling this way, we'll use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to learn more about what matters to you and work on bringing more of that into your life while letting go of the things that may hold you back from feeling more fulfilled.

We will work on:

  • Getting clear on when you do feel fulfilled

  • Learning about the internal and external barriers that keep you from more fulfilling activities

  • Understanding how prior experiences in your life may have contributed to beliefs that are contributing to these current feelings